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This was my first experience of public speaking. I will never forget it. I was 19 and on a day release from the Air Force studying business and we had to do a talk on one of the subjects we were learning. I tried everything to get out of it, but in the end I had to do it. If you are afraid of public speaking you will know exactly what I mean.

Since that time I have spoken in front of a 200 strong audience, small intimate groups also. I have been a corporate trainer and a hired public speaker. How did I do it after being so afraid? I will tell you.

How To Get Over Your Fear of Public Speaking

Firstly let’s look at the psychological side of it:

1. Realise that just by doing it, your audience are in awe of you.

A test in the seventies by the Times of London concluded that people were more afraid of public speaking than they were dying. So the one thing you know is that the vast majority of your audience find you inspiring just for the fact that you can get up there in the first place.

2. No one will heckle you, if they do, you have all the power.

One of my students brought this up as a fear. They were worried about being heckled. Firstly, most public speaking is done at work or in a professional environment, the likelihood of being heckled is small.

Whe I was a trainer, I had to train guys who had been at work before I was born, so you can imagine how much respect I got. However, what I learnt very quickly is that because of the reason in 1. above, people will be very wary of being called upon if heckled.

When I was heckled, or when someone disagreed with my training, I would say “That is a really great point, can you come up here and explain it to everyone”. I have never had anyone come to the front, and every single time, the heckler has never said a word during the talk.

3. Realise you don’t have to be perfect.

Because we see Obama, clips of Kennedy and Martin Luther King, we all imagine we have to be that good before we can get up and talk. This is not true. EVERYONE makes mistakes (just look at Obama’s inauguration…) and your audience expects you to make mistakes. In point of fact, the more perfect you try to be, the more nervous you will be.

This may sound odd as a preparation but it works for me. I will run through a speech quite a few times with full notes. When it comes to delivering the speech I either don’t take notes with me or I use bullet points. When I talk, I want it to be from my experience in the moment, not just a speech from some notes. Because of this I make errors, get lost, go off track, but it is more natural.

I have people coming up to me after events saying, ‘it felt natural, like you were talking to a buddy’. That is because I make mistakes, not because my talks are perfect, far from it.

4. Deliver value.

When people hear you talk, you should deliver value. If it is a company talk, be on point and concise. If it is an informal talk in Church perhaps, give value make it a lesson.

Lots of people worry about this if they are guest speaking. For example if you were asked to speak at a charity event that was full of brain surgeons, and it is a brain charity, you might want to stay of the subject of brain surgery when surrounded by so many experts! There would be a great speech though, informing your audience of how people have been touched by the charity, how much money it has raised since it started, how the knock on effect of one person being saved rippled through to hundreds of people… Any talk like this would be a great speech of value to those listening.

5. Your audience want you to do well.

As we have said previously, the vast majority of people are terrified of speaking, so they admire you already. The thing about seeing someone do something you are scared of, like tightrope walking, parachuting, snake charming or public speaking, is that you yourself would be willing on the people to succeed.

Ever sit in front of the TV and get nervous for any of the contestants on Britain’s Got Talent, or Pop Idol. Those little kids who go on there, aren’t you just willing them on to succeed? That is what the audience you are facing as a speaker is doing for you. They are rooting for you, they are not willing you to fail.

Think of the things above when you are preparing to overcome this fear, because if you can root these lessons in your mind as beliefs, you are already 90% on the way to overcoming one of the number one fears in the world.

The physical aspects of public speaking and how to over come it, I will leave for tomorrow’s post. But I will leave you with the biggest secrets of public speaking. These are two VERY, VERY important things you should know……

1. Always leave them wanting more.

Regards
David
@OneLifeNoFear